[ He knows she doesn't mean the literal kind of looking, but her words still draw a dark chuckle out of him. ]
Yes. Because I will look.
[ Part of him is scared. Not of what he might find, but of losing himself as he searches. It's a weakness he has; he looks so closely that he, too, is transformed by the search.
You say that like it's a bad thing, Geiravor's voice echoes in his head. ]
[ He doesn't know what this is, exactly. But does he need to? Does it even matter? He has her, and she has him. That's more important than anything, he thinks, especially in the kind of world in which they live in.
So he just adds: ] I can't wait to see you.
[ Not 'see you again,' because he hadn't really been seeing. Hadn't really been looking. ]
( it isn't meant jokingly. she wants to look pretty, so she can feel comfortable and so he can feel the comfort off of her. that's how these things spread, after all. )
[ He has a different definition of pretty now. Or, at least, he's ignored the bits he could no longer comprehend in the usual way, though if Baldr were to find out whatever this is that's going on, his brother would say that she was his type anyway. ]
(you feel nice, he means. she knows that's what he is telling her, she is good company, she is fun, she is all the things that make the world turn on its axis. and she knows she likes to be that to him.
it makes her feel more seen than any of the rest could have. )
I can't top that! Aren't you unbelievable?!
But I believe you. I believe I can be that to you.
[ He's relieved that she just... gets him. Even like this, when they're only dealing with words and nothing else. Even more when they're together. It's nice to be seen, for once. ]
You're already more than I could have ever hoped for, Sylvie.
As long as it's a game we win by participating rather than by beating the other, I think it's okay.
( a long moment of consideration. she's biting her lip and holding back for all of ten seconds, then she just writes it, the words she's thinking. what she wants him to know.
with everything that came before. for the both of them, she imagines. )
I like that kind of game. [ Being a twin, it had been about competition all his life. And it wasn't enough to have a twin, he had many other half-brothers who were better than him in the things his family thought mattered, too. He didn't know any different until Geiravor came and showed him how much fun could be had in just doing things together. ] We can beat the monsters together instead.
[ Though the words that come next drive him to silence. It wasn't that he didn't feel the same way; he knew he did, and that was how deeply he often felt about the things or people who mattered. It was all or nothing for him, even if he might burn himself in the process.
But this? This is new. And completely unexpected, since to him it had felt like his world had been completely torn apart by Geiravor's death. How was this possible? What had he even done to deserve this? ]
I must see you now, if you insist on saying such things.
[ It's not about doubting her. It's because he doubts himself, that he is truly worthy of such things. Maybe she'll change her tune when they're face to face, and she's reminded of just how... broken he is. ]
( no one ever must anything with sylvie. she has become so accustomed to not meaning anything to anyone, except armand to whom she is protection as he's protection to her. understanding and support, but even he must all sorts of other things, unrelated to her.
to be the center of someone's universe. feeling that important. that's new. even with eloisa... even then, right?
it was something else. eloisa left and sylvie didn't leave. she's still here.
is this what you get for staying?
she smiles. )
Well, since you insist, I suppose I'll get Edgar to drive me. I can be there soon.
Will you wait?
(will you wait for me, armand had asked her. and she'd said yes. if they both have monsters to beat, if they're bound by something so essential, maybe hodr will say yes, too. )
[ He'd meant to go to her, though he hadn't the faintest clue how; it wasn't like he could just get up and walk, not anymore. He could possibly blackmail Baldr into paying his Monsieur Dubois a visit and taking him along or something, but that was a very big if.
So her offering to come to him is both a relief and a thrill. It's new. Perhaps even dangerous. ]
Yes. I will wait for you.
[ It's not as if he has anywhere else to be, anyway. But the darkness that traps him doesn't feel so daunting now. Not with the promise of her sweet voice, her gentle touch, her bright laughter, her warm glow.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Yes. Because I will look.
[ Part of him is scared. Not of what he might find, but of losing himself as he searches. It's a weakness he has; he looks so closely that he, too, is transformed by the search.
You say that like it's a bad thing, Geiravor's voice echoes in his head. ]
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( that's her promise to him, that if they're going to lose themselves in the search, they're going to do it together.
and are you really lost, when you're lost with someone else? )
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[ He doesn't know what this is, exactly. But does he need to? Does it even matter? He has her, and she has him. That's more important than anything, he thinks, especially in the kind of world in which they live in.
So he just adds: ] I can't wait to see you.
[ Not 'see you again,' because he hadn't really been seeing. Hadn't really been looking. ]
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( it isn't meant jokingly. she wants to look pretty, so she can feel comfortable and so he can feel the comfort off of her. that's how these things spread, after all. )
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[ He has a different definition of pretty now. Or, at least, he's ignored the bits he could no longer comprehend in the usual way, though if Baldr were to find out whatever this is that's going on, his brother would say that she was his type anyway. ]
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it makes her feel more seen than any of the rest could have. )
I can't top that! Aren't you unbelievable?!
But I believe you. I believe I can be that to you.
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[ He's relieved that she just... gets him. Even like this, when they're only dealing with words and nothing else. Even more when they're together. It's nice to be seen, for once. ]
You're already more than I could have ever hoped for, Sylvie.
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( a long moment of consideration. she's biting her lip and holding back for all of ten seconds, then she just writes it, the words she's thinking. what she wants him to know.
with everything that came before. for the both of them, she imagines. )
And you're not a consolation prize to me.
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[ Though the words that come next drive him to silence. It wasn't that he didn't feel the same way; he knew he did, and that was how deeply he often felt about the things or people who mattered. It was all or nothing for him, even if he might burn himself in the process.
But this? This is new. And completely unexpected, since to him it had felt like his world had been completely torn apart by Geiravor's death. How was this possible? What had he even done to deserve this? ]
I must see you now, if you insist on saying such things.
[ It's not about doubting her. It's because he doubts himself, that he is truly worthy of such things. Maybe she'll change her tune when they're face to face, and she's reminded of just how... broken he is. ]
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to be the center of someone's universe. feeling that important. that's new. even with eloisa... even then, right?
it was something else. eloisa left and sylvie didn't leave. she's still here.
is this what you get for staying?
she smiles. )
Well, since you insist, I suppose I'll get Edgar to drive me. I can be there soon.
Will you wait?
( will you wait for me, armand had asked her. and she'd said yes. if they both have monsters to beat, if they're bound by something so essential, maybe hodr will say yes, too. )
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So her offering to come to him is both a relief and a thrill. It's new. Perhaps even dangerous. ]
Yes. I will wait for you.
[ It's not as if he has anywhere else to be, anyway. But the darkness that traps him doesn't feel so daunting now. Not with the promise of her sweet voice, her gentle touch, her bright laughter, her warm glow.
He will wait. ]